写了一篇英语作文 是明天比赛用的 大家帮忙看看有没有什么错误 谢谢 I dream of ....

Question

题目： I dream of doing what I like
With the growth of the age,the dreams of mine are always changed.When I was 8,I dreamt of becoming an English teacher,because I enjoyed learning the knowledge from my teachers and I wanted to teach more people.At the age of 13,I dreamt of being a famous designer,like Karl.Because I wanted everyone in the world can wear my clothes and say:WOW,I like it.But now,I am hard-working because of my favorite high school-GYYZ.I wanna be a student of there.And when I grow up,I will travel all over the world.That is my biggest wish.I will remain my footsteps where I go.And I really have a number of dreams to realize.
因为是参赛的，只有45秒可以朗诵，所以大家帮帮看看哪里啰嗦，帮忙删减修改。如果大家有更好的文章请帮个忙写一写。
随后请麻烦尽量发送修改的到：[email protected]
万分感谢！
文章大致内容是这样的：
我梦想着做我喜欢做的事情
随着年龄的增长，我的梦想也在不断的变化。在我八岁时，我想成为一名英语老师，因为我很喜欢从老师那里学习到英语知识，而且我想要教更多人英语。在十三岁的时候，我想成为一名著名的设计师，像卡尔一样。我想要全世界的人们都穿着我设计的衣服并且很喜爱它。但是现在呢，我很努力得学习因为我最喜欢的高中-贵阳一中，我想成为那里的一名学生在明年。未来，我会周游世界，我会在我所去过的地方留下脚印。而且，我还有很多梦想要去实现。
麻烦大家看看咯~拜托了！！！

Answer 1

“我想成为一名英语老师，因为我很喜欢从老师那里学习到英语知识”在这里，你如果很喜欢从老师那里学习到英语知识，那你直接问不就行了。如果你都成为一名英语老师了，还用从老师那里学习到英语知识吗？应该改为“我想成为一名英语老师，因为同学很喜欢从老师那里学习到英语知识，而且我也想要教更多人英语。”“因为我最喜欢的高中-贵阳一中，我想成为那里的一名学生在明年。”改为“因为我想成为那里的一名学生”，明年就不必要了，你可以用一般将来时来表达。“未来，我会周游世界，我会在我所去过的地方留下脚印。”中的“脚印”改为其它
有象征性或有意义物品较好，例如：花、照片、书等；也可以改为某种感情，例如：友谊、责任感等；甚至可以写心情，例如：快乐、开心等。其中的“留下”改为“播撒”会更好些。

Answer 2

With the increase of age, my dream is also in constant change. When I was eight, I want to be an English teacher, because I like the teachers learn from the knowledge of English, and I want to teach more people. At the age of thirteen, I want to be a famous designer, like Carle. I want people all over the world wear my dresses and loves it. But now, I work hard to learn because I most like high school - Guiyang one, I want to be where the student next year. The future, I will travel around the world, I will leave footprints in my place. But, I still have many dreams to come true.

Answer 3

呃~我认为第二句话有些矛盾。你想成为一名英语老师，可为什么说你喜欢从老师那里学习到英语知识呢？这里有一些不好。可以吧“以为我很喜欢从老师那里学习到英语知识”这句话删去，然后把后面的“而且”改成“因为”。