My earliest memories of my father are of a tall, handsome, successful man devoted to his work and family ,but uncomfortable with his children. As a child I loved him, as a school girl and young adult (成年人) I feared him and felt bitter about him. He seemed unhappy with me unless I got straight A's and unhappy with my boyfriends if their fathers were not as "successful" as he was. Whenever I went out with him on weekends, I used to struggle to think up things to say, feelmg on guard.