蛇的困扰
THE PROBLEM OF THE SHRIKES
我给住在乡下的母亲打电话的时候，她感到很心烦。“我们院子里有几条蛇，”她告诉我说，“蛇时不时地爬到屋子边上来，可这几条蛇似乎是在屋子附近安家了。你能不能把它们赶走？”
When I called up my mother in the countryside on the telephone she was very upset.
"There are some snakes in our courtyard," she told me. "Snakes come near the house now and then, and they seem to have made their home here, not far from the walnut tree. Can you get rid of them please?"
我感到很自豪，这回我有机会来表现一下自己了。我要发明某种东西，既可以把蛇捉住，而又不会伤害它们。我知道我的父母亲是不会让我伤害这些生物的。
I felt very proud. Here was a chance for me to distinguish myself by inventing something merciful that would catch snakes but not harm them. I knew my parents would not like me to hurt these living creatures!
我所做的第一件事就是看看有没有现成的产品能帮助我。但是，看来只有一种毒杀蛇的药粉。
The first thing I did was to see if there were any products that might help me, but there only seemed to be powders designed to kill snakes.
很明显，我得找一种新的方法了。于是我就着手研究蛇的习性，以便能用最简易的方法来捕蛇。好在这些爬行动物都很小，问题比较容易解决。
经过一番研究准备之后，我决定采用三种可能的方法：
A new approach was clearly needed. I set about researching the habits of snakes to find the easiest way to trap them. Luckily these reptiles are small and that made the solution easier.
Prepared with some research findings, I decided on three possible approaches:
第一，铲除蛇的栖息地；第二，用男人或女人用的香水或食物把它们引进陷阱；第三，降低它们的体温，使它们困乏，这样就很容易把它们捉住。我决定采用最后一种方法。
firstly, removing their habitat; secondly, attracting them into a trap using male or female perfume or food; and thirdly cooling them so that they would become sleepy and could be easily caught. I decided to use the last one.
我买了一个制冰激凌的器具，从里面取出一个碗。在碗的内壁和外壁都涂上果冻，这些果冻冷却后会冻结。我把这个碗放进冰箱，冷冻了24小时。与此同时，我还准备了一些冰块儿。
I bought an ice-cream maker which was made of stainless steel. Between the outside and the inside walls of the bowl there is some jelly, which freezes when cooled.
I put the bowl into the fridge and waited for 24 hours. At the same time I prepared some ice-cubes.
第二天早晨太阳光还不太热，我就起床了。我把冰冻的碗放在蛇窝的上方，再把小冰块儿放在碗上，以使碗保持冷却状态。最后再用一个大桶把碗罩住。
The next morning I got up early before the sun was hot. I placed the frozen bowl over the snakes' habitat and the ice-cubes on top of the bowl to keep it cool.
Finally I covered the whole thing with a large bucket.
于是我就等着。过了两个小时我才把桶和碗一起拿开。蛇肯定不像以前那样活跃了，但是对于我来说，它们行动还是太快了，突然一下子就消失在墙壁附近的洞里去了。
Then I waited. After two hours I removed the bucket and the bowl. The snakes were less active but they were still too fast for me.
They abruptly disappeared into a convenient hole in the wall.
于是我只得调整我的计划。第二次试验我用的还是冻结的碗和冰块儿，但是这次我是在夜晚气温开始变凉的时候把它们放在蛇窝的上方，然后用桶把碗罩住，通宵放在那儿。
So I had to adjust my plan.
For the second attempt I froze the bowl and the ice-cubes again but placed them over the snakes' habitat in the evening, as the temperature was starting to cool.
Then as before, I covered the bowl with the bucket and left everything overnight.
第二天一早我就去看结果。这一次我蹲下去检查的时候，发现蛇都是睡意朦胧的。但是一把它们提起来，它们就要咬我。因为它们都是毒蛇，所以很显然我还得改进我的捕蛇方案。
Early the next morning I returned to see the result.
This time with great caution I bent down to examine the snakes and I found them very sleepy. But once picked up, they tried to bite me. As they were poisonous snakes, I clearly needed to improve my design again.
第三次试验重复了上一次的程序，不过第二天早晨我的手里拿了一个捕鱼的小网，这是因为我预料蛇还会再咬人。
My third attempt repeated the second procedure. The next morning I carried in my hand a small net used for catching fish.
This was in the expectation that the snakes would bite again.
经过仔细的监视，证明这些蛇不会惹麻烦，一切都按计划进行着。我把这些温顺的蛇收集起来，第二天就把他们全都释放到野外了。
But monitored carefully, the snakes proved to be no trouble and all went according to plan.
I collected the passive snakes and the next day we merrily released them all back into the wild.
由于朋友和亲戚的敦促，我决定把我这次的发明送到专利局，请他们对我这次成功的思路给予认可。
Pressed by my friends and relations, I decided to seize the opportunity to get recognition for my successful idea by sending my invention to the patent office.
只有取得他们的认可，你才可以说是一个真正的发明者。专利标准非常严格，除非设想真的很新颖，否则很难被接受。
Only after you have had that recognition can you say that you are truly an inventor. The criteria are so strict that it is difficult to get new ideas accepted unless they are truly novel.
此外，你的想法如果属于下列情况，那么你也不可能得到专利：一种发现、一种科学理论或数学模式、文学或艺术、一场游戏或一笔交易、一个电脑程序、一种新的动植物物种。
In addition, no invention will get a patent if it is:
◎a discovery
◎a scientific idea or mathematical model
◎literature or art
◎a game or a business
◎a computer programme
◎a new animal or plant variety
你的产品要经过仔细调查，证明它的确是与众不同的，你才能获得专利。
Nor will you receive a patent until a search has been made to find out that your product really is different from everyone else's.
专利局还有一大批审查人员，他们的唯一职责就是审查你的专利申请是否有效，如果通过了审查，你申请的专利就会在你提出申请的18个月后公布出来。
There are a large number of patent examiners, too, whose only job is to examine whether your claim is valid or not.
If it passes all the tests, your application for a patent will be published 18 months from the date you apply.
于是，我填了表，向专利局提交了申请书。现在就是等待和期盼了。将来你看看我的银行结余金额就会知道我是否成功了。祝我好运吧！
So I have filled in the form and filed my patent application with the Patent Office. Now it's a matter of waiting and hoping.
You'll know if I succeed by the size of my bank balance! Wish me luck!