求大神指导一下英语作文，感谢！

Question

如图，请指出所有不足之处，感谢万分！

Answer 1

我根据您所上传的照片，将照片中的英语作文修改了一下，供您参考。英语作文的语言表达，除了符合语法逻辑以外，还要尊重并尽量保持英语原有的表达习惯，避免“中式英语”现象。修改后的作文如下：
Dear Tom,
I'm writing to you for inviting you to take part in the party of Lucy's birthday. We have invited some friends with whom we used to get on well, and there would not be any stranger at the party. Besides, each of us has prepared our own gifts for Lucy and some activities for the party, so I think we will surely have a good time.
I know you have been busy for your study in recent years, but actually we have not been in contact for a long time. We all miss you and love you all the time, and we desire to listen to your sweet voice again. Therefore, please do not let us down, will you?
The party will be held at Lucy's house this Friday night. Looking forward to seeing you at the party.
Yours truly,
Li Ke

Answer 2

高中英语作文还是大学，我可以试试。

Answer 3

你好，你的英语作文是一篇邀请别人参加生日聚会的信，这里面整体还可以
建议：
1.文章的衔接词可以加一些
2.文章的句子汉化比较多，可以美化一下。长句子和短句子混着用，从句也可以转换不同的句式
谢谢提问，望采纳哦。

Answer 4

大致是可以的，但是字也要写好一些，写清楚一些，不要写的怎么好看，要写的整整齐齐，清清楚楚的，在考试的时候，写的清楚，也可以作为加分项哦

Answer 5

i am writing to you for invite you...这句啰嗦，改为 I am writing to invite you...
be busy with, listen to, the party will be hosted.

Answer 6

这篇文章整体还不错，但是口语化稍微有点重，像so, of course, ok等的使用在作文里面最好不用使用，尽量换书面化的单词，还有就是be busy with 的用法，另外建议把have been not in touch改成have been out of touch.