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Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying. If he’s honest, he will tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment. For commitment is in fact quite painful. The single life is filled with fun, adventure , excitement. Marriage has such moments , but they are not its most distinguishing features.Similarly, couples who choose not to have children are deciding in favor of painless fun over painful happiness. They can dine out ever they want and sleep as late as they want. Couples with infant children are lucky to get a whole night’s sleep or a three-day vacation. I don’t know any parent who would choose the word fun to describe raising children.Understanding and accepting that true happiness has nothing to do with fun is one of the most liberating realization we can ever come to. It liberates time: now we can devote more hours to activities that can genuinely increase our happiness. It liberates money : buying that new car or those fancy clothes that will do nothing to increase our happiness now seems pointless. And it liberates us from envy: we now understand that all those rich and glamorous people we were so sure ate happy because they are always having so much fun actually may not be happy at all.