请大家帮我把下面这段话翻译成英语,谢谢。

女士们先生们,大家好,我的名字叫XX,来自日照市实验中学初三1班。很高兴能参加这次比赛,我给大家带来一个小笑话,希望大家喜欢。(后面再加上一个英语笑话)

Hello,Ladies and gentlemen.My name is XX.I am in Class 1 Grade 3 in Rizhao Middle School.I'm very happy to join the competition.I bring a small joke to you.I hope you will love it .
笑话一篇:
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
他竭力忍耐着。后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群。
You there! challenged a thrill voice. Can't you act like a gentleman?
你干嘛?有人尖声叫道,你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?
Listen, he said, I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady.
听着,他说,我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起,我要表现得象个女士。
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第1个回答  2011-01-19
ladies and gentlemen ,hello.my name is xx, i'm from Rizhao shiyan middle school class1 grade 3.i'm very glad to join the race. i'll tell a joke for you. i hope you will like it. hey Are Directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”
恩 开头是自己打的、、累啊 后面的翻译 你还要么?
第2个回答  2011-01-19
Hello,ladies and gentleman.My name is XX,from the Class 1 of Grade 3 of the Shiyan junior high school in the Rizhao City.I'm glad to participate in the competition.I bring you a joke and wish everyone will enjoy it.
第3个回答  2011-01-19
Ladies and gentlemen,Hello everyone,My name is XX.I from in Class 1 Grade 3 in Rizhao Middle School.I'm very happy to join the competition.I bring a small joke to you.I hope you will love it .
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