求改一下鄙人的英语作文，急~！是要给英国外教看的，不想给中国人丢脸~T T

Question

题目是说一下你认为中国目前较为严重的问题，然后提出解决方法
我的拟题是：中国的高考问题严重，各方家长牺牲学生的自由时间去补课。

以下是鄙人的英语作文，请大胆修正！
In china,i think the most serious problem is educaton about the university entance exam.
In 2012,there are 300 thousand student took part in the university exam.Although the rate of passing was 75%,everyone want to go to the top school which called "211project" and "985 project",like The Ivy League University in America,represented the top level of the nation.
To achieve this goal,students in high school attend kinds of tutorials,learning marth,english,physics and so on.At the same time,parents are in favour of the activities that their children study in the weekend.No computer games,no basketball.For example,my aunt paid 100 yuan per hour of a class generously in order to improve her son's grade.At school,teachers treat stuents seriously at work too.Honestly,students have few free time to do any other things excep study in high school life.
We can't stop thinking about the reason why situation is going like this?Maybe the reason is Study is the only way to make you success in chinese opinion,if you do not work hard,you will fall behind.
Finally,how we sollute the problem?In fact,many teenagers are sent to aboard to escape the chinese university entance exam in recent years.Also,government have put a new polite into practice called independent recruitment.Headmaster of the college will interview the student,if he or she behaves good enough,he or she can entance the university without exam.

Answer 1

在中国，我认为最重要的问题是关于大学入学考试的教育。2012，有300000的学生参加了大学考试的一部分。虽然通过率为75%，每个人都想去上学校“211工程”和“985工程”，像美国的常春藤联盟大学，是国家的最高水平。为了实现这一目标，高中学生参加各种学习教程，三月，英语，物理等。同时，家长在孩子学习在周末活动的支持。没有电脑，没有篮球。例如，姨婆付给每一课时100元慷慨地为提高她的儿子的成绩。在学校里，老师对待学生认真工作过。老实说，学生很少有空闲的时间在高中生活中其他任何东西除了学习做。我们不能停止对理性思考为什么情况是这样？可能的原因是学习是让你在中国看来，成功的唯一途径，如果你不努力工作，你就会落后。最后，我们如何sollute问题？事实上，许多青少年送到国外逃避近年来中国大学入学考试。同时，政府提出一个新的礼貌到实践称为自主招生。高校校长将面试的学生，如果他或她表现的足够好，他或她可以入学考试的大学没有。

这句话怎么有点矛盾感

Answer 2

 i think the most serious problem is educaton about the university entance exam.  最好 is  跟上that  这样更直观

第二行300 thousand student  不说了你应该知道哪里错

Although the rate of passing was 75%,everyone want to go to the top school which called "211project" and "985 project"     我觉得这关联词用得...怎么说呢，，，In spite of the rate of passing was 75%,  there were still a  mojarity of people wanting to go to the top school which called "211project" and "985 project",like The Ivy League University in America,represented the top level of the nation.

At the same time,parents are in favour of the activities that their children study in the weekend.No computer games,no basketball.For example,my aunt paid 100 yuan per hour of a class generously in order to improve her son's grade.   这句话我觉得可以把No computer games,no basketball.  因为不承上也没启下会使文章突兀不流畅，

Maybe the reason is Study is the only way to make you success       或许successful





 

追问

是that is 还是 is that？

追答

is that

本回答被提问者采纳

Answer 3

仅仅看了下，我觉得亲至少要把拼写和基本语法改下

拼写 entance ->entrance

students, wants

句子的中式表达要改下 亲

e.g.students in high school attend kinds of  tutorials,learning marth,english,physics and so on ->in high school 位置不对

 can't stop thinking？？？？

sollute?? ->solve, the sentence should be: how the problem can be solved

polite?? ->policy

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