one person's primary caregiver was her mother, whom her mother took on most of the work to care for her while her father focused on his work in the childhood.
这句有几处不妥:
1. 句首的one这里要用a表示。在表示“一个”概念时,a用于泛指任何一个,而one则用于指某一群体里的一个。例如:
A student is missing.
的意思是“有个学生 不见了/找不到了”,没有框定范围。而
One student is missing.
则是说者和听者都知悉或默许的范围内“一个学生不见了/找不着了”,后面跟的另一句话很可能是
All the others are in the school/playgroundd/… .
2. 既然后面一直在用代词her,开头第二个单词person就应改成girl(或者woman,但不如girl更合适,因为句子谈论的是childhood的情况!),否则就与在性别不明确的情况下习惯使用his或his/her相违背了。
3. 按照原句的语法结构,使用whom引导非限制性定语从句,此时whom一定是在从句中作宾语的,故while前面的her应该去掉,否则宾语就重复了。
4. 句尾的介词短语in the childhood指代不明确,应该将the改成her.
另外,从句意明确的角度来说,应该在句尾in her childhood后面加上类似to earn living for the whole family之类的目的状语。