英语笑话带翻译

如题英语笑话。要带翻译的,一定要是2个人对说的那种。谢谢大家了!
麻烦要比较长一点要比较连贯的。谢谢~!是去竞赛的。 有好的可以加分~最少50分!

Teather:What is the plural of man,Tom? 老师:汤姆,“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么? Tom:Men 汤姆:男人们 Teacher:Good And the plural of child? 老师:答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢? Tom:Twins 汤姆 :双胞胎。 小明上英语课时跟老师说:May I go to the toliet?老师说:Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说 May I go to the toliet?老师说:Go ahead。小明又坐了下来,他旁边的同学问:你不是要去上厕所吗,怎么不去小明说:你没听老师说吗‘去你个头’啊(go a head)
温馨提示:答案为网友推荐,仅供参考
第1个回答  2009-12-26
1.和买驴的人

A man wanted to buy an ass. He went to the market, and saw a likely one. But he wanted to

test him first. So he took the ass home, and put him into the stable with the other asses.

The new ass looked around, and immediately went to choose a place next to the laziest ass in

the stable. When the man saw this he put a halter on the ass at once, and gave him back to

his owner. The owner felt quite surprised. He asked the man, "Why are you back so soon? Have

you tested him already?" "I don't want to test him any more," replied the man, "From the

companion he chose for himself, I could see what sort of animal he is."

中文:一个买主到市场上去买驴,他看中一头外表不错的驴,但是他想要牵走试一试。他把驴牵回家,放

在自己其他的驴之间,这驴四处看看,立即走向一头好吃懒做的驴旁边。于是,买驴的人立刻给那头驴套

上辔头,牵去还给驴的卖主。卖主感到很奇怪,他问买主:“你怎么这么快就回来了?”买主说:“不必

再试了,从他所选择什么样的朋友来看,我已经知道他是什么样了。”

2.The Looney Bin
疯人院
Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:"我是拿破仑!"另一个说:"你怎么知道?"第一个人说:"上帝对

我说的!"一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:"我没说!"

Notes:

(1)Looney (俚语)疯子

(2)inmate(n.同住者,同室者(特指在医院、监狱))

(3)insane asylum (疯人院)

3.A mother mouse
老鼠的第二语言也重要
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she

spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and

the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat

was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you

understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道:“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说:“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
第2个回答  2009-12-27
1 A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!一个小男孩问他的爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?爸爸说:我不知道,因为我仍然在付帐。

2 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"

"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."

"Well done. Who was that?"

"My granny."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"

一个主日学校校(基督教教会为了向儿童灌输宗教思想, 在星期天开办的儿童班)的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在,孩子们,”她说:“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”

“我,老师,”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”

“做得好,是谁呢?”

“我奶奶。”

“好孩子。现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”

“是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!

3 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".

迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。

孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说:“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块。不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。”

迪克问:“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?”

他姨妈马上回答说:“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”

迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说:“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”

4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold them!

斯丹:我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们?

斯丹:浴室。

弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛!

5 George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”

“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”

“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”

乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时,他问:“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗? ”

“ 不行, ” 那位妈妈说, “ 天气太冷了。 ”

“ 噢,那么, ” 乔冶, “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗?

参考资料: http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/10699265.html?si=1

参考资料:http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/10699265.html?si=1

第3个回答  2009-12-27
Bride: My perfect plum! Groom: My pretty peach! Minister: I now pronounce you fruit salad.
新娘:我亲爱的李子!新郎:我亲爱的桃子!主婚人:现在我宣布你们结为水果沙拉。
相似回答