请英语好一点的帮我看看,有没有句型或单词错误。有请复制原句再改正。

Intro Dear my college teacher glad to see you , I was Xue , I am honored to be admitted to Lu Xun Academy of Fine Arts , Dalian campus and participate in the exam. I am 20 years old. I was an out- of Northeast girl , my hometown is a small historic city of Tieling , the famous comedy actor Zhao Benshan is my hometown , the city's environment is very good , people are very friendly , and there are many famous snack I love my hometown . I love painting, I really like the design, so the only sign design profession , my parents are very supportive of me, when I remember elementary school , secretly hiding in the room every day, face painting, now in retrospect, I could Fine admitted because their favorite college, God is still very care of me.My spare time enjoys reading and watching movies , I think it allows me to learn a lot of extra-curricular knowledge , and I especially like American movies and TV series, such as the current hit " The Vampire Diaries " and " bankruptcy Sisters," which can improve my English listening and pronunciation. In sports , I like to swim as well as cycling, I believe that these two movements are very environmentally friendly and energy efficient , but now I still fat , I hope my strengthening exercises in the coming days , slowly closing down and lean get healthy , this is one of my recent goal .This is me. Thank you, teacher .

Dear my college teachers
Bonjour! I’m Xue.
I was thrilled at the moment I heard I am admitted to the Lu Xun Academy of Fine Arts, Dalian campus.(如果你还没被录取就说I am honored to participate in the exam of the application to the Lu Xun Academy of Fine Arts , Dalian campus.) And today having you to listen to me talking, I am honored. So again, I would like to thank Dalian campus, to offer such an opportunity for me to pursue my goals.
I am a twenty-year-old girl. My hometown is a small historic city in Tieling where the famous comedy actor Zhao Benshan is born. The city's environment is very good, and the people are very friendly. The traditional snacks are also one of my sweetest memories of home.

Considering my hobbies, I love painting. I could still remember during elementary school, I would sit for hours painting my own faces with colors exaggerating all kinds of emotions. I love painting, fascinated by the elegance of style and the freedom I have to design. I was very lucky too, my parents have always been very supportive to me, encouraging me to always keep moving forward to develop my interests. At this point looking back, I do feel very fortunate that my interests, the things I enjoy to do, helped me get into the university I love.

In my spare time I always enjoy reading and watching movies, I think this allows me to gain a lot of extra-curricular knowledge. American movies and TV series are, especially, the ones I find most interesting. The current hit “The Vampire Diaries " and "Two Broke Girls" are currently my favorites. I believe by watching these episodes I can seize the opportunity to improve my English listening and pronunciation that the internet has given me.

Considering sports, I luv swimming as well as cycling, I believe that these two movements are very environmentally friendly and energetically efficient. Still as now you may see, I am still a little out of shape but anyways, I hope by such activities I could strengthen myself both physically and mentally, this is recently one of my goals. And thus though a perpetual endeavor that I would put in, I believe slowly I would achieve my objectives.
This is mainly who I am, a brief introduction of myself.
Thank you for your listening.
Merci Beacoup!
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