急需要两个英语幽默的小故事（要有翻译，英文不要太长）..有的速度（急需！）

Question

如题所述

Answer 1

Tom has a new math teacher, he said that he did not be able to trust teachers, mother asked why, Tom, said that because the teacher would say that one plus one seven eight equal, one would also add four four eight equal.(汤姆有了一个新的数学老师，他说，他不能够相信老师，妈妈问为什么，汤姆说，因为那个老师一会说一加七等于八，一会又说四加四等于八。)
One day two people want to escape from mental illness neuropathy hospital, but they have to straddle the wall 100. When they cross the wall to the 30th more than when John Allen question whether tired, John did not tired, then they continue to climb the wall. Block walls to the 99th when Alan said he was tired, John, said it would go back, come back tomorrow, and then they go back.(一天两个神经病人想逃出精神病医院，但他们要跨越一百座墙。当他们跨到第三十多座墙时，艾伦问约翰是否累，约翰说不累，然后他们继续翻越围墙。到了第九十九座墙时，艾伦说他累了，约翰说那就回去吧，明天再来，然后他们就回去了。)

Answer 2

Barber：were you wearing a red scarf when you came in ？
Customer：No.
Barber:Oh,then i must have cut your throut .

翻译：
理发师：你进来时有没有系著红领巾？
顾客：没有啊。
理发师：奥，那我肯定弄破了你的喉咙。

One day ,little Tim was hungry.He went to a restaurant to eat .He wanted to go to the toilet to wash his hands ,but he didn't know where it was. He asked a waiter for help."Don't worry ,young man。”the waiter said。“Just follow the flies！”

翻译：

一天，蒂姆肚子饿了，来到一个饭店吃饭。他想去卫生间洗手，可他不知道在什麽地方，於是就向服务生寻求帮助。“别担心，小夥子，”服务生说道，“就跟著苍蝇去吧！”

Answer 3

Joke: How old am I?
A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look.

She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, "Sir, how old do you think I am?" The man replies, "You're 30, right?" She says "No, I'm 47, but nice try."

The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, "How old do you think I am?" The man replies, You're 37, right?" The lady says "No, I'm 47, but good guess."

After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies, "Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her panties." So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, "You're 47!"

The lady, astonished, asks, "How did you know?"

The old man replies, "I was standing right behind you at McDonald's."