请教英语高手！

Question

Hi ~
Long time not contact you~ I am so missing you!
Hope everything is going on well.
One more wonderful thing want to share with you, I found one good website which sells all kinds of electronic products.
I already bought a lot of goods from him and now became my best friend now.
U also can click in his website<http://www.my-maill.com> If you can introduce customers to him,you will be share 20% of the total amount .
Which same as me now~
Please try it~

老外说我这个非常差劲 几个好心的网友也给我改了 但还是不行 请教高手呀！ 谢谢

Answer 1

第一句,完整的句子的话,你的谓语架构完全不符合规则.改为long time no contacting you.
第二句:miss这个词有思念也有什么东西不见了或者是被错过了意思.is missing恰恰是指什么东西不见了.另外思念是动词,修饰动词的应该是副词,所以不应该用so,而用so much.该为i miss you so much!
第三句没有问题
第四句:你的主语呢?! i have one more thing to share with you.
....
后面的看不下去了.您的语法实在是...不好说

Answer 2

很长一段时间没有联系你〜我很想念你！
希望一切都进展良好。
一个更美好的东西要与大家分享，我发现一个很好的网站，销售各类电子产品。
我已经从现在成了我最好的朋友那里买了大量的货物。
你也可以按一下他的网站<http://www.my-maill.com>如果你能向他介绍的客户，您将20 ％的份额总额。
就和我相同〜
请试试〜

Answer 3

Hi ~
It has been a long time since we talked last time ~ I am so missing you!
Hope everything is going on well.
I have another wonderful thing to share with you! I found a good website which sells all kinds of electronic products.
I already bought a lot of goods from it and the sellers became my best friends.
U also can click here<http://www.my-maill.com> If you can introduce customers to them ,you will be share off 20% of the total amount .
That is same as me now~
U do can try it~
这个是我改的 可能还存在点小错误吧 但不会很多 你的那个原来的 很多都是中国式英语~ 老外看了当然会摇头了~~呵呵 GOOD LUCK`~

Answer 4

Hi ~
Long time no see~ I've missed you so much!
Hope everything is going on well.
I have one more wonderful thing to share with you: I found one good website which sells all kinds of electronic products.
I've already bought a lot of goods from it and it is my favourite site now.
U can also click at this website<http://www.my-maill.com> If you can introduce customers to it, you will be given 20% share of the total amount , which is just the same as me now~
Please try it~

Answer 5

hi
long time not contact with u,i missing u so much.
i hope u everything goes well.
i want to share a good news with u.i found a good web shop which sells all kinds of electronic products.
i already bought a lot of goods in this website and the shopkeeper now become my best friend now. u can also click his website <http://www.my-maill.com> to buy goods.furthermore,if u can introduce others to buy goods in his web shop, u will get 20% discount from each successful deal.